Trinity Games

As an effort to raise funds, a sub-committee of the Honors Committee has convened to discuss how Trinity might produce its own variations on The Hunger Games.  Please consider these proposals and suggest which might be most interesting to our constituents in a theatre near you.

 

The Tired Games

 In this tightly framed thriller, four students from Tibstra, Alumni, West, and South are locked in CL 201 in order to see who can stay awake the longest.  In the middle of the room, there is a cache of sodas, amphetamines, and cans of Red Bull.  To add to the tension, an audio recording of an anonymous professor lecturing on obscure trigonometric functions airs constantly, digitally altered for maximal tediousness.

 

The Friendly Games

After randomly selecting two administrators, two professors, two custodians, and two transfer students in a campus-wide lottery, the Friendly Games begin!  The contestants must pace the quad between Vander Velde and the Classroom Building.  When any two contestants meet, they must exchange the most plastic greeting possible.  Permissible weapons might include The Trin Wave, the Troll Hug, and the Can’t-Remember-Your-Name Hey There! Greeting.  The contestants earn points based on their abilities to innovate new forms of artificial hospitality.

 

The Silent Games

May the loudness be ever in your favor!  This riveting and psychologically troubled drama pits representatives from different segments of the campus against each other.  Their mission: approach the desk of an on-campus clerk or teller or administrative, make eye contact, and remain silent for as long as possible.  The judges award greater points based on greater bodily risk, for example, for those contestants who practice sustained silence while standing directly in front of the BBC cashier at 6:03pm.

 

The Styrofoam Games

Cafeteria contestants seek the most surreptitious modes of conveying Styrofoam lunch containers through the to-go line of the Caf.  Past competitors have camouflaged their containers, carried them under their Mockingtroll  tee-shirts, raising three fingers in a Styrofoam District 12 salute to the security camera, and bribed Caf workers to hand them the Styrofoam containers over the deli counter.

 

The Public Speaking Games

This tensely plotted action flick moves with all the pace and energy of a COMM 101 syllabus.  The trailer for this film implies that the Speech of Introduction is actually due within three weeks of the start of the class!   And, to add to the tension, at random points the game designers drop in Impromptu Speeches.  The Persuasive Speech, complete with a full-sentence outline, brings this film to a pitch of unprecedented excitement.

If these proposals sound a little grand, be assured that we are already in conversation with the producers of John Carter, who have agreed to oversee all the design, casting, and mass-mediated dimensions of our production

Advertisements

5 comments on “Trinity Games

  1. Hannah Wasco says:

    I like the Tired Games! We should also set up a live-feed so that people all over campus can watch. And there should be guards set up outside the door so that if the “tributes” ever create a game to amuse themselves with, the guards can step in and remove the entertainment.

  2. Alissa VW says:

    Can we get hovercrafts? I think that would make getting removed from the games just that much less depressing, plus we could use them to fly places like, say, the Art Institute of Chicago…
    Also, maybe we could have Major Games where a guy and a girl tribute from each major (assuming there is at least one of each gender) get put in the library arena and whoever is still doing their homework for the longest amount of time wins!

  3. arblok23 says:

    How about “The Registration Games”? After being carefully coached by a mentor who understands the rigors and perils of Registration, students are sent out into the constructed reality of cyber space where, after a final countdown to 12:00 am (or is it 12:01 am?), they struggle against slow wireless connections, crashing servers, last minute changes in course offerings, and the occasional forgetting-to-change-term-from-SP12-to-FA12. Winners are handsomely rewarded with a peace-filled, restful night’s sleep. Losers are punished with a fitful rest and more acrobatic hoop-jumping. Competitors may want to work on developing nimble and quick fingers, practicing their aim with mouse and cursor. Upon entering the arena, they may want to quickly procure the ever-useful ethernet chord or take shelter under a wireless router. It will serve you well to keep a cool head on your shoulders and a razor sharp focus. And, may the internet connection be ever in your favor.

    • Thayerdan says:

      I like Registration games a lot- you could always add elements to that one by changing all the professor names after registration, remove seats from different classes as well as add crazy pre reqs…this could be a very fun game to play!

  4. arblok23 says:

    How about “The Registration Games”? After being carefully coached by a mentor who understands the rigors and perils of Registration, students are sent out into the arena of cyber space where, after a final countdown to 12:00 am (or is it 12:01 am?), they struggle against slow wireless connections, crashing servers, last minute changes in course offerings, and the occasional forgetting-to-change-term-from-SP12-to-FA12. Winners are handsomely rewarded with a peace-filled, restful night’s sleep. Losers are punished with a fitful rest and more demanding acrobatic hoop-jumping. Competitors may want to work on developing nimble and quick fingers, practicing their aim with mouse and cursor. Upon entering the arena, they may want to quickly procure the ever-useful ethernet chord or take shelter under a wireless router. It will serve you well to keep a cool head on your shoulders and a razor sharp focus. And, may the internet connection be ever in your favor.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s